On S'Embrasse?

I don't really know but I think this video might be about the thought process of a man being left. I question the reality of the girl, Julie. I feel as though she takes on the form of an actress rehearsing for a movie audition because Paul has been running over the situation in his mind so many times. He's seen everything that has happened up to that point, every word, every intonation and had time to think it over. Time to think of why she said the things that she did, what lead her to do it the way she did, and what will come next.
To him, the situation has been run over and over in his mind so many times that now it's like an audition, it's like he's acting. He knows exactly what she's going to say and how he wants to reply. But he doesn't. We don't actually see him reply because, well, maybe he can't bring himself to just say it. Because it was easier to do in his mind with someone that isn't real than to do it with the real deal. The girl he has all the emotional baggage with. On the other hand, maybe he does say it in the end. Maybe he's shocked at how easily he was able to pull back from the situation and just say it.
Jean-Luc Abel plays his role so very well. He manages to be cold and reserved, but not unfeeling. You can tell that Paul is sad, that there's more to it than just rehearsing to him, even before his real lover comes out. He isn't overly emotional but but he hints at deep pain so subtly and effectively that I really ended up feeling terribly for this beautiful older gentleman. No explicit reason is given for sympathizing with Paul, but you end doing so because everything is hinted to just right, in the acting, in the writing. It all comes together to make a wonderful scene in which I became emotionally invested.
To her credit Alice Carel, Julie, also does very well. She convinced me that she was just overcome with a simple, honest, but ultimately unwarranted and surprising emotional response to the situation. It crossed my mind that she was written this way to reflect Paul. Because he was unable to break out into tears and show his emotions she was there to do it for him. Either way, I didn't feel she was trying too hard, and it all seemed genuine.
That's what this film really was, it was genuine. It had a slow and sad cadence, a quiet sort of underlying, sad-grey-rainy-melancholy-morning feel to it which really struck me. This is an excellent example of the fine films being showcased on FutureShorts, a channel I grow fonder of every day.

The Option of War

I once heard it said that Franz Kafka and his friends would laugh so hard at the stories that Kafka wrote that they had to take breaks from reading them to catch their breath. I then take it that I must read his stories with comedy in mind. I never really found Kafka all that funny, though. I've always found him very dark and slightly frightening. I feel Nick Fox-Gieg, the animator for today's film, succeeds in created the perfect atmosphere for this Kafka adaptation. Fox-Gieg and Kafka actually seem like a perfect mix to me. Their styles are both dark and demented with a hint of humor. We've seen from his video A Good Joke, that he has a sense of humor. From other videos, such as Bird's Eye Bull's Eye or Six Premonitions, we've seen that he has the potential, nay a penchant for dark and eerie films. Their styles seem to me to be totally complimentary. Add to that the fact the sound effects and voice acting are superb and you've got yourself a recipe for success.
The metallic grind of the tanks in the opening scene, the beautifully soft yet tormenting narrator, the frightened boyish pleading of the private; all are perfectly chosen, and perfectly executed for this film. The animation is also well done. I'm not always a fan of his work, it becomes busy and too quick for my liking sometimes, but in this video it was just right. It was frenzied and fluid and distorted, just right.
I really like Fox-Gieg, I highly recommend his other work, it all makes for great viewing. My two favorites, next to this one of course, are The Foxhole Manifesto and A Good Joke. Another job well done for Nick.

The Strongest Link

I breath a sweet sigh of satisfaction. I was in a foul mood and pestered by annoyingly good stories. I had nothing scathing, nothing bad to say about them. Finally, something I can really dig my teeth into. The Strongest Link, right from the outset this story is delightfully irritating. Ripping off a bad a game show from the 90's that only remained in our collective memories because of a cheesy tagline is in no way, shape or form a good place to start a story from. But I suppose lowering our expectations to then surprise us with a fantastic story, or at least make a half decent story seem better, is sort of noble.
Sadly The Strongest Link achieves neither. It is the annoying punchline that you can see coming from a mile away. The moral heavy, humor light, or in this case devoid, answer to a question no one asked. Have you ever been talking to someone older than you who naturally assumes you know nothing, possibly a teacher or a grandparent or a parent, when they decide, in a vein attempt to connect with you, that telling a horrible joke to teach you lesson about something no one needs a lesson on is a good idea. That feeling of being pinned down by someone's good intentions and irritatingly holier than thou attitude. That's what reading this story felt like. It felt like being pinned down, unable to believe that someone would actually take the time to write that every part of the sentence is very important (try to imagine me speaking with an annoying voice to highlight the fact that I find this annoying). The fact that someone could think that children would like this is what's wrong with school today. Dynamic teaching requires trust, trust that the audience is capable of thought. Teachers, don't patronize your students, it's only insulting. They will learn to match expectations, no matter how low or high those expectations are. The expectations of whomever is the author of Short Story Blog are so very low it's kind of sad. No intelligence can grow from this story. No wisdom can be gained or learned because he, or she, is not allowing his audience to learn for themselves, everything is there. Nothing more can be said about it.

Useless Drama

I hate when this happens. I was in a perfectly foul mood, ready to start complaining about poor story-telling and the world in general. Ready to bitch and moan about every little thing I happened to find irritating until I started reading Useless Drama. I was pleased to be greeted by typos and what I thought would be a privileged girl predictably pestering me. I was taken outside of the story and pleased to have something easy to pick on. So I didn’t close the window. I’m lucky that I decided not to. But in another, much pettier, way I’m not because now I can’t be a troll like I had intended to be because it turns out this is a good story.
In this story by Miss Guidagno (from a certain slice of society disturbingly underrepresented in this blog, the first female author to be featured) the protagonist is haunted by memories of a formal dance a year ago and how lonely she felt when the slow dances began and the couples started coupling without her. Again she is faced with the issue of facing the dance all by her lonesome.
She wants desperately for her boyfriend to go with her, but that old dog worthiness starts nipping at her and she feels guilty wanting him to face the prospect of losing his job and, in turn, his only way of getting through college for a dance. Maybe I’m misinterpreting it but the line “If I worked half as hard as him, then I might be worthy of being selfish” irritates me. Working hard doesn’t entitle you to destroy your boyfriend’s life. Nothing entitles you to ruin anyone’s life. What this line is, however, is honest. I appreciate that.
It may sound strange to say it, because I can’t remember ever having a favourite paragraph, but my favourite one is the fifth. I love the paragraph that deals with her shower because it is so elegantly written. “My hair begins to drown me” is such an evocative way of describing everything she is feeling. So much is said with so little. “My hands move the same way they do every night” something which I can relate to, something that describes her headspace so clearly. Really, really good stuff.
I liked the end too. It was a little ambiguous and I didn’t feel as sure of it as I could have, but if it is indeed as I interpreted, it’s perfect. Maybe that’s the strength of it. It allows for perfect interpretation. Maybe.
What more can I say. It was good, very good. Guidango could have a real future ahead of her if she continues to write like this, ruining trolls’ bad moods.

Levni Yilmaz

Today we're going switch gears a little and I'm going to expand my horizons, as it were. I'm going to stray from my usual format and do something I'm very excited about. I'm genuinely shocked that everything came together properly so indulge me a little here while I provide you with some background.
Levni Yilmaz is a San Francisco based blogger and the creator of Tales of Mere Existence (see my blog entry immediately previous to this one) a uniquely honest and comical animated video series and comic strip, and as it turns out a really nice guy giving amateurs like me a chance to do a really cool e-interview (which by its nature isn't all that cool but my joy remains unmitigated).
I was in Lev's San Francisco pad earlier this week to ask a few questions (by San Francisco I mean Brantford, which I think it's safe to say is the San Francisco of south western Ontario, and by pad I mean in my bedroom on my computer composing, and repeatedly rewriting, an e-mail...). So here we go, my first ever genuine interview.

Q:So my first question is: just how much of you is in your films and comics? Obviously quite a bit, but do you protect yourself at all, or is it just all out there?
A:The character is very much part of my personality, but only one part. It's much more the way I used to be than I am now. That said, no, I don't think I try to protect myself that much. I don't know why, but I am not very private about that. I think I struggled to be cool in the normal sense for a long time. After I said Fuck it, it was cleansing to show off my vulnerabilities.

Q:If it is all out there, is there a point where panic sets in and you don't think you can publish the content?
A:The only time I remember it happening is when I wrote a piece with a girl I used to date. It was interesting writing with someone, because they don't let you get away with your bullshit. I had to take some of the material she wrote out, maybe I protect myself more than I admit.

Q:Where does the inspiration for those bits that aren't you come from?
A:I get a lot of ideas just watching other people, seeing similarities of the way they put on an air, to the way I put on an air. I like to think though... well, I don't think I directly make fun of people, do you? I like to draw the line there. I like to make fun of the habits and the thoughts, without directly making fun of the person.

Q:How do you differentiate between something worth recording and something that isn't?
A:If it makes me laugh, and if it feels pure. When I say pure, I mean that it has to be me trying to communicate a thought or a feeling rather than me consciously trying to be funny. That's worth noting, I almost never try to be funny. I try to write about something interesting to me, and then just trust that the comedy will come out naturally.

Q:Is there a video or a comic strip out there that you regret having published?
A:There's one in my Sunny Side Down book that I think is pretty bad called "Your Basic Worldview for the first few years of your life" that I think is pretty bad. I needed it for the sequence/timeline. I think it's a piece of shit.


Q:What made you want to start making Tales of Mere Existence? Is it therapeutic at all?
A:It was an evolution. I made the first video called "Party" and then made another in the same style. I think I still have a drunken scribble in an old notebook that says "Hey, could this be a series?". Yes, totally therapeutic.

Q:And lastly, do you have any hopes for the future of Tales of Mere Existence or are you just taking it day by day?
A:I've thought I was done with the series at least fifteen times. All I really think about is the next way that it could evolve, and take it from there.

Youth and Aging

"One of the main reasons why older people get nostalgic about their youth is that, when they were young, they didn't know how things were going to turn out yet." Best. Line. Ever. How delightfully depressing and insulting. Self deprecating too I suppose. I love it. It really strikes a chord with me because of just how blunt and, although I'm not old yet and can't really comment, honest it is. Maybe it isn't the truth for everyone but I sometimes already sometimes feel that way and I know that it's true for some, and Mr. Yilmaz sure makes me feel like he means it.
Even though I still have enough potential left in front of me to not be hugely concerned by the potential I've lost behind me, this line, and in fact this whole video speaks to me. I am all at once excited and terrified of the future because I don't know what it will hold. I look forward to being old and thinking back on my youth, learning what will come, which new fantastical devices will reshape the world and how the world will look back on the time that was mine. On the other hand I could die tomorrow, I could fail all my classes, never achieve any of the things I'd like so desperately to achieve and die cold and alone. It's all very frightening and very important to each of us. I think that's the strength of this video. It doesn't exactly offer terribly new insight into the subject of youth and aging, nor does it answer any questions about it, it just cuts through the crap. Yilmaz doesn't sugar coat anything. He observes and comments and the fact that someone else is feeling the same thing(s) as we are is in itself uplifting. It means that when we die we'll feel a little less cold or alone. At least, that's how I feel.
Youth and Aging is actually the opposite of depressing to me, it's almost uplifting because even though I'm not closer to writing for the New Yorker, I know that a lot of people aren't getting everything they want to get done done. Knowing that, I can approach the situation with less panic, less fear, and deal with it like a normal problem and have a better chance of achieving what I wanted to. I'll also feel less terrible about myself if I don't achieve my goal because I'm in good company.
The slightly deadpan narration and enlivened animation add to this effect wonderfully. The whole thing is really well done, no wonder "Cut Up" picked it up. I highly recommend this one and all the "Tales of Mere Existence" lineup. They're all just as funny, honest, sad or strangely uplifting as this one and the style is unique and interesting.

Italian Spiderman Movie!

Short Shorts entertainment joyously presents Italian Spiderman review! This ten part film on Youtube is really and truly a gem. Italian Spiderman tells the story of-- you guessed it-- the Italian Spiderman and his rival, the Luchadore mask wearing, snake conjuring, Captain Maximum. Why is Captain Maximum wearing a Luchadore mask? Why is the Italian Spiderman overweight? How come Italian Spiderman can teleport? Because it's bad ass, that's why.
Italian Spiderman manages to be laugh out loud funny because it has such dedication to style, strangely well-done but kitschy special effects, a sense of whimsy, and most importantly they didn't take themselves too seriously. Alrugo, the makers of the film, knew exactly what they were shooting for, knew exactly what they had to do, and they did it. The characters are well thought out and remain true until the bitter end, the action is hilarious and perfectly imperfect. Even the hero was imperfect, Italian Spiderman is mostly a jerk, he hits women, he smokes, and he's a misogynist. He really shouldn't be likable but because of the style he commands and the style of the film, I was rooting for him. This is a fine example of what a farce should be.
That is not to say, however, that it was perfect. Some of the episodes near the late middle lost their steam and were, dare I say, boring. But any movie with an epic surf-off is fine by me. You should definitely check it out if you haven't already, watch it again if you have, and hang your head in shame if you won't. Great DIY comedy for the masses by the masses, silly and kitschy mixed with good-looking girls and a superhero who has no real redeeming qualities, what more could I ask for?

The Model Millionaire

A little too good. This story is well written, well thought out, witty, clever, socially aware and, really, everything it should be. Why then don't I like it? Well, that's a tough question to answer. It certainly isn't because I don't like Oscar Wilde. The man is a veritable genius and although, as Aphra Behn proved, "wit can never be defense enough against mortality," mortality is no match for wit. Wilde's dying words, "either that wallpaper goes, or I do," border on inspirational. I had nothing but the highest praise for The Importance of Being Earnest, and yet I don't like The Model Millionaire.
Neither is it because of the writing, it's all very well written and I found it really quite funny. The end was satisfying, Wilde, being a master of last words, ties his story in a tight little knot, which returning readers will know how much I appreciate that.
"Unless one is wealthy there is no use being a charming fellow." Even the opening line is great. It's bitter, it feels like a sad regretful discovery just made. The line is reminiscent of a man sick of the world he lives in making lemonade. It's a house-ism, something which could only really be said by an asshole but which is funny because it's said in such a matter-of-fact manner that is speaks to us.
It isn't the characters either. Poor Hughie is friendly, generous, and interesting. His artist friend, Trevor, is larger-than-life, but I mean that in the best way possible. Everyone, really, is likable and interesting. What more could I ask for?
So, it isn't the writer, the writing, the characters, or the wit. No, it's none of these things. I think what it boils down to is the story itself. I didn't really buy it. It was all a little Disney (not that I have anything against Disney in and of itself), a little too deus ex machina for me. I didn't believe for instance that one of the wealthiest people in Russia would fancy having a painting of himself in rags. I didn't buy him giving Hughie the ten thousand pound wedding present either. Maybe I was just in a sour mood. Maybe I don't know enough about wealthy Russians, maybe I wasn't in a state to be reading a comedy but the story left me with a cold feeling in the end. I finished and didn't really feel like I'd read anything worth reading. Fluffy, in a word.
Despite all that, however, the wit was enough to keep me interested to the end and I had no real "issues," as it were, with the story. I just didn't really like it. All in all, it was funny, very well written, and even more clever, but it is by no means Oscar Wilde's best work, there's much better out there.

My Favorite Murder

(strange website, the link won't take you directly to the right page but if you search "My Favorite Murder" on the site linked it should come up)

Can an author employ the use of entirely too many adjectives? My Favorite Murder is proof that yes, too many adjectives can be used.

Now, I think I'm a pretty erudite guy, I like language and I like to think I have a pretty good grasp of the English one but having to read a story with a dictionary on-hand may have taken away from the story a little. Maybe I just don't have as firm a grasp on the language as I thought but words like saturnine and avarice are a little obscure. However, knowing them now makes my life a little richer and I do like to learn new words.

Despite all this lingual confusion, I must confess it was a good story. Dark, in a word, strange in another, but interesting, perplexing, and good nonetheless. Basically the description of a really terrible way to die, which admittedly is kind of funny for those of us not being pummeled to death by a ram, this story is presented with a very strange, sometimes confusing, always funny nonchalance. I didn't know what to think when I finished. It was funny, but I had a hard time discerning between sarcasm and the machinations of a twisted mind. I don't know about you, but never having had any experience with murderers, I couldn't really tell if the protagonist really was pleased about adding insubordination and treachery to his record or if he was being sarcastic. Knowing the character both seem likely.

To the story's credit, once I moved away from my innocent murder disliking hang-ups it was funny. I was in the mood for a chuckle and I got it. The concept of someone being acquitted of a crime because of another that was so much more heinous tickles me. To add to that the way he commits his avuncular murder is also quite funny. Tying someone up like a pendulum in a bag and coxing their own ram to attack said bag is ironic and makes for a comical mental picture. And despite being confusing at times, the way the protagonist describes the murder is off beat that I found myself amused by the casual account of such an abominable event.

In short this is a well written story, my gripes about over-use of adjectives is a moot point because I love adjectives and it added to the story's comedy. The story was confusing and by no means perfect but it was definitely a worthwhile read.

Blood and Chips

Hollywood sucks. Maybe I'm being a little harsh but a lot of it really does. What the hell was Transformers 2? Not a movie that's for sure, it was more of an exercise in technical masturbation and a pedestal for Megan Fox to stand suggestively on (which is really stretching her acting skills if you ask me). Although some good, even excellent movies get made from time to time, there's a lot of crap out there. Which is why short movies are fun. They're quick, concise, and interesting. Although even they cannot avoid the influence of cliché and Hollywood sentimentality a lot of the time the movies can be very moving, new and even powerful.
Blood and Chips is an excellent example of the fine, quality programming put up by the youtube channel Futureshorts. Futureshorts is the self-described "definitive short film experience." They upload films from "over 25,000 people in 20 countries" a month, and provide a "unique blend of short film, music and art." They showcase videos from some very exciting new directors and present all sorts of quality videos.
Blood and Chips, the video in question, is well acted, well produced, and well written at that. It has a genuinely surprising twist at the end which really drives home the point of the subtle racism that can seep into those patriotic people who are also uninformed. A point hold dear, being from a small bedroom community with an atrociously large amount of quiet, and not so quiet, racism.
Now, I said this film was well written but I may have lied. It is by no mean poorly written, and it's never a problem, but to say "well" might be an overstatement. My second viewing was less impressing and it was a little cartoon-ish. After I'd seen it once it didn't seem as original or exciting and I saw some things I didn't like. The main bigot, Terry (I believe, though I could be mistaken) feels too much like a caricature and he runs out of the shop a little too quickly. The clerk yelling "don't forget you chips, mate" seemed overdone too.
These minor gripes, however, don't take away from the story and did nothing to lessen my viewing pleasure. It was flawed and at times overacted, but excellent nonetheless. It made a point, didn't get caught up in itself and said what it had to without force feeding it to you. A wonderful example of short films. I really enjoyed it, how did you feel?

A Rose for Emily: Beginning with the End

(Click title for link to the story. I mostly ramble about endings until the end. If all you want is my opinion skip down to the last paragraph.)

I have a problem. I find this problem irritatingly omnipresent. This problem seems to be everywhere I look. I find it in TV series, many movies, and, perhaps most annoyingly of all, in my own writing. My problem is that good endings are nearly impossible to find. Now, when I write about bad endings my mind immediately jumps to Adventureland, a very good movie about abject failure and its side-effects, not exactly pleasant but important in the land of story-telling. It could have been a good coming of age story. But no. No, instead they pandered to an audience that wasn't there and, in a completely ridiculous turn of events, (spoiler alert) James (Jesse Eisenberg) moves to New York where he and Em (Kristin Stewart, who didn't exactly help the movie (sarcasm alert) with her brilliant acting skills (and no, I'm a Twilight fan and I'm not a twelve-year-old girl, my disappointment goes beyond petty feuds)) live happily ever after. It ruined the movie. What was an honest representation of the bumps and scrapes that people must endure to mature, became crap. Large, stinky, and steaming.

This is why I have such eternal respect for William Faulkner and A Rose for Emily, and indeed any writer who finds a way to end his or her story satisfyingly. Faulkner manages to, through frankly excellent story-telling, make us sympathize, even empathize with someone whom we should feel nothing more than disdain and pity for. Miss Emily Grierson is a snooty, arrogant, difficult, stubborn relic of the past. She does nothing for the town, she doesn't even pay her taxes, and expects everything from the townspeople. She takes advantage of the people around her and is completely selfish. And yet, when (spoiler alert, you guys should really read the story before you read what I have to say about it) we are told of the strand of hair she has left behind with the only lover she ever had I couldn't help but feel bad for disliking her and laughing at some of her misfortunes, which are hilariously written. It gave her a subtle humanity which she did not possess prior to that. The strand of hair proved that she longed for companionship and that she could be with someone. It gave her a dignity which merely being stubborn and arrogant could never afford her. And even though it was an open ending, something which should never be attempted at home, Faulkner hits it out of the park. His ending trusts me. He does not feel the need to hold my hand throughout explaining every detail, rather he trusts that I can understand, infer, and interpret like a normal human being. But best of all, the ending is satisfying. Like a gaggle of women on Sunday I was excited to hear this final piece of gossip about Miss Emily and reading it made me happy for her. It gives the story, and Emily's life, closure.

Overall it was an excellent read. It had all the charm of the south and the characters were well drawn and complex and the end didn't make me feel patronized, unlike the ending of a certain movie whose title begins with an A and ends with dventureland (I'm giving Adventureland a hard crack of the whip. The end didn't ruin it, it just made it worse. It was still a decent movie). Faulkner, as if I had to say it, is absolutely inspired. The man can weave a sentence so beautifully it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Elegant and concise all at the same time. I'm going to put this one in the Thoroughly Enjoyed pile, how about you?

Let There be Shorts

And so it begins. (for those playing at home, this section of the blog can be accompanied by the song Apocalypse Please, by Muse) What is quite possibly the most important blog of our times, my gift to all of you in internet-land. My contribution to the world of blogging. Yes I have finally graced the interweb with my presence. It feels good doesn't it? Maybe a little frightening but don't worry, that's normal, that's good. Oh, you lucky people, you. If only. If only I had me to enrich my life the way I am about to enrich yours... My blog deflowering will not be easy. Some may be injured, some may turn away in disgust, some may learn things about themselves that they didn't want to know, but all will eventually come to acknowledge the simple, awe inspiring genius that is SHORT SHORTS!

On a much less sarcastic note, Short Shorts is about, as the title hopefully suggests, short stories and short films. I, on a regular basis (the regularity of which will, at all times, subject to reevaluation) will probably post a link to a short story or film that I have found particularly interesting, exciting, or offensive accompanied by a short, but not unimportant, review of said short. I, of course, encourage my reader(s, fingers crossed) to post their own thoughts on the subject at hand. Because, although your input will be nowhere near as enlightened as mine, I am interested in hearing what the commoners have to say. With any luck I won't commit any copyright infringement, I won't receive any visits from irate lawyers and this will all be as painless as possible. So, without further ado, I give you, the one, the only Short Shorts. (applause)